Author: system

3 big tricks to let young children know the emotions & improve their social skills

Post author By system
Post date 02/05/2024

3 big tricks to let young children know the emotions & improve their social skills

Written by: Speech Therapist Mother, Miss Carley

Since children are only about two or three years old, their knowledge of the world will become deeper and deeper, teaching them to understand emotions can help them express their feelings and encourage them to put themselves in the position of understanding the feelings of others, thereby enhancing their social skills.

Tip 1: Parents and children watch cartoons together

Parents can watch more cartoons with their children. Often, the expressions of the characters in these cartoons are exaggerated so that children can identify the emotions and feelings of the characters and ask them about their reasons and solutions. Parents and children watching stories and the storytelling process, in fact, can also ask children to replace the characters in the story and think about what they feel.

For example, in the story of the three
little pigs, parents can ask their children, “If you are a little pig and your house is blown down, how would you feel?” If you were the big pig and
your house was not blown down, how would you feel? This allows them to put themselves in other people’s shoes more often.

Tip 2: Put yourself in their shoes

In daily life, parents can also try to grasp the opportunity to let their children know that their behavior will affect the feelings of others. For example, when a child does something bad or misbehaves, ask him, “What do you think about mommy’s emotions right now? It turns out that mommy is angry, so they know that their behaviors affect others.

Tip 3: Ask your child to keep a diary of daily events

Parents can also try to ask their children to draw or write down the events of each day in a diary, and how they feel about themselves or others, to deepen their emotional awareness.

Further, parents can teach their children that there are different levels of feelings and emotions. For example, happy can be a little happy, very happy, or super happy. Parents can also play simple games with their children, such as asking them at a theme park, “Are you a little happy, very happy, or super happy?” If you are a little happy, take one step; if you are very happy, take two steps; and if you are super happy, take three steps. Let the children know more about these emotions.

Education Bureau Information

Before becoming enraged at their children, parents should ask themselves these three questions

Post author By system
Post date 02/05/2024

Before becoming enraged at their children, parents should ask themselves these three questions

Written by: Caritas Rehabilitation Services,Clinical Psychologist, Yu Kwok Ting

Some parents may be more impulsive and even have a habit of blaming their children for problems such as disobedience, deliberate anger, or naughtiness. When children fail to do what they want, they become angry with their parents, but this will gradually alienate them from their parents, which will damage the parent-child relationship in the long run.

Parents’ personalities, families of origin, and parenting methods learned in different ways will affect parent-child relationships. And the adults’ thoughts will influence their mood. If adults find themselves in frequent conflicts with children, which affect the parent-child relationship, we can ask ourselves three questions.

1. Whether there are other possibilities

If a child is not able to do all the homework required by his or her parents, the first thing the parents think is that the child is just having fun and not doing homework, but the real reason may be that they do not know how to do it and need parental guidance. If parents take preconceived notions as facts, they may ignore the needs and difficulties of their children and damage the parent-child relationship

2. Whether one’s own thoughts have been confirmed

Some parents often say that their child is “deliberately annoyed” and then see their child’s behavior as disobedience, but perhaps the reason for the child’s behavior is carelessness, but the parents are influenced by their subjective feelings and misunderstand their child.

3. Are your thoughts helpful to the goal?

If a parent’s goal is to mend the parent-child relationship, but he or she often holds the idea that the child is “deliberately working against him or her,” is this thinking really helpful to his or her goal? Parents can try to find more realistic and justifiable ideas to help them achieve their goals.

Education Bureau Information

Let your child learn to face failure

Post author By system
Post date 28/03/2024

Let your child learn to face failure

Written by: Director of Curriculum and Training, Financial Education Association Mr. Kwan Hin Bun

In many cases, the biggest blow to a child is not the failure itself, but his or her understanding of the failure. For example, if a child is not selected to represent the school in an inter-school competition, the usual reason they think of is that they are not as good as their classmates. But there may be other reasons behind it. Maybe the teacher is worried that if he gets hurt, he won’t be able to represent the school in other more important competitions. This is not to teach children to avoid responsibility, but sometimes we need to make them understand that it is indeed their own factors that lead to failure.

Parents need to remind their children that anyone who starts something will always have difficulty. Parents should encourage their children to persevere to the end, without taking the requirement of perfection too seriously. Don’t be impatient to provide help to your child; let them try to meet the challenge in a different way. For example, if your child has difficulty learning to write Chinese characters, let him or her copy them first.

As children, their attitudes toward people and things around them are often unstable and easily influenced by emotions and other factors. When faced with difficulties and failures, they tend to develop negative emotions and fail to deal with failures with the right attitude, thus creating resilience. At this time, parents should tell their children in time, failure is not terrible, as long as a little brave can do a good job, learn from the failure to see how to do next time. Parents should consciously use their children’s failures as educational opportunities to guide their children to regain their courage and try again with boldness and confidence. At the same time, educate your child to face difficulties and setbacks, to improve the ability to overcome difficulties and resilience.

In life, no one can remain unbeaten for a long time, like China’s “hurdle king” Liu Xiang who also lost in the London Olympics. Only those who are brave enough to face failure will have the chance to show their smiles of success again.

Parents should know how to teach their children to be brave in the face of failure, because no one is always successful in life. We understand from childhood that “failure is the mother of success”, so there is nothing to be afraid of when we face up to failure. However, if we look at our understanding of this statement, we should focus on “success” rather than “failure”, so that our recognition of failure is still conditional. When failure is no guarantee of future success, Failure, is still a shame and a sin. Therefore, parents must be clear about whether they are teaching their children to face failure or to avoid it!

Education Bureau Information

Letting go and letting your child become an independent person

Post author By system
Post date 28/03/2024

Letting go and letting your child become an independent person

Written by: Founder
& Volunteer Director of Good Love Passion　Lam Ho Pui Yee

From childhood to
adulthood, independence does not happen overnight. From the cradle to society,this journey is made up of countless small steps, and every small step in a child’s development is an opportunity for parents to learn to let go.

Because we can’t be with our children all our lives and take care of them until they grow old, we as parents should know how to let go in a timely manner. The purpose of letting go is to help your child grow and become an independent person who can take responsibility for himself. This kind of love has deep meaning.

How to let go

love and discipline go hand in hand

Many parents want to be friends with their children, but respect is not an indulgence. In my opinion,being a friend to your child means that you want to share and communicate more about each other’s inner worlds, but not in respectful way, children still need the guidance of their parents. Instead of worrying about how to be your child’s friend, you should think and learn how to be your child’s coach and spiritual support. Therefore, listening to children and observing their behavior is the first step in teaching children self-regulation. By learning to listen to their children, parents will be able to understand their children’s potential, interests and passions, and give them the help and support they need to let go.

Give children the opportunity to deal with things and learn from their mistakes

Many parents seem to forget that a crying baby eventually learns to sleep without being held, or the joy and emotion of seeing a The ecstasy and emotion of seeing a baby take its first steps without the support of someone. When a child faces conflict, problems or mistakes, parents should not rush to advocate, step in or make amends. Never deprive your child of the opportunity to learn from mistakes and failures, because children learn the ability to advocate for themselves and solve problems, and to take responsibility for the consequences of their choices or actions. In the process of letting go, you allow your child to try mistakes and accept failure.

Delay in meeting the needs of the child

We need to let go of the myth that parents don’t have to meet what their children want. In setting boundaries, it is important to delay gratification. We need to distinguish between our child’s “wants” and “needs. When a child asks for something, don’t just give him what he wants. You can wait until his birthday to give him a gift or encourage him to save up to buy it. Many parents in the West encourage their children to help their neighbors hoe their lawns to earn pocket money to buy things they want, because they will appreciate the things they have worked hard for through their own efforts.

In addition to helping children grow and feel responsible for their own lives, there is a higher value in letting go, which is to turn small love into big love. Parents need to learn to let go and bless their children to pursue their lives. When you start to let go, you will find that there is infinite space in life.

Education Bureau Information

“No!” “Not allowed!” “No!” Does it really work?

Post author By system
Post date 27/03/2024

"No!" "Not allowed!" "No!" Does it really work?

Written by : Child Behavioral Emotional Therapist
　　　 Ip Wai Lun

Many times, parents get angry because their children don’t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn’t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, “Hey! Don’t touch it!” and “No!” and “Stop”, the child will hear many of these “No! and “No! In fact, this will often make children feel that they have done something wrong, which in turn will undermine their confidence and make them avoid doing things in the future.

As a parent, what can you do to make your child follow the rules without undermining his self-confidence? What kind of talking skills can parents use?
For example, if a child is angry and his face is red, we can use the following “three-step” approach.

Part I: Say How He Feels
“Mommy and Daddy see how angry you are ……”
“Look at your red face. ……”
Parents can try to help their children say how they feel. This is the first and most important step.

Part 2: Setting boundaries
When a child has a temper tantrum and may hit someone, parents should immediately set a line: “Okay, we can’t hurt others. Help him to set a compliance line.

Part 3: Arranging a platform for diversion
If the child has already hit someone, the parent should arrange a platform for the child to channel the anger.

For example, the parent can say, “Oh! I see you are so angry that your face is red and you want to hit someone! Why don’t you show Daddy how angry you are? “Why don’t you hit this shark doll?”

Maybe the child will say, “Yes, okay! and then hit the shark doll. At this point, the parent should tell the child, “Oh, Daddy is really angry to see you.

By allowing the child to express his or her emotions, the child will understand that when he or she has negative emotions, they won’t be accepted by the parents.

If parents use the above three steps, not only will they accept their children’s negative emotions, but they will also not condone their misbehavior, and most importantly, children will learn to follow the rules.

School Articles

Children are reluctant to open their mouths. Does listening to music help?

Post author By system
Post date 29/02/2024

Children are reluctant to open their mouths. Does listening to music help?

Written By: Pang Chi Wah, Certified Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

Parents expect their children to learn to speak, and the feeling of their children “opening their mouths” for the first time is something that only parents who have been parents can understand. Parents want their children to start talking as soon as possible and do everything they can to guide their children to speak. While oral training is important for the development of speech, parents should not neglect auditory training because it is an important prerequisite for language training.

Relationship between Auditory Stimulation and Speech Expression
Listening and expression, reception and output, are closely related and complement each other. In the early childhood stage, if a child’s reception is not sufficient, it has a direct impact on the amount of output. I give a more extreme example for analysis. People with hearing impairment have difficulties in speech expression, but this is not due to problems with their oral muscles or related abilities but to the lack of auditory input. Without the verification and comparison of sound content, even though the mouth is developing normally, there is no “inventory” and therefore no “supply”. Therefore, parents should pay attention to whether they are providing their children with adequate auditory stimulation.

Diversified auditory stimulation
Some parents may say, “Of course I know this, and I try to output a lot of sound to my child: I often talk to my child, tell stories, describe my child’s surroundings, etc., and I use different languages to do so. While this is ideal for auditory stimulation, the content is rich but similar in nature – it is all verbal. In fact, auditory reception can be very diverse, and music, for example, is a material that can help improve a child’s language skills. Conversely, parents can learn about their children’s language development by how well they listen to music.

Music is good for language development
From my years of experience in education, I found that children with poor phonetic ability will have more difficulty in learning music and vocal music, such as pitch, rhythm, range, etc. This is actually related to listening and sound composition skills. Among the different types of sounds, music is the ideal language teaching material, except for the human language. There is a wide variety of music, with different rhythms or themes, from which children can broaden their understanding of sound. In addition to its educational value, some soft music can even help to soothe emotions.

Play the harmonica and experience the sound and breathing changes
The same piece of music can feel very different when played by different instruments. This is also good training for your child’s listening sensitivity. In addition to listening to records or playing music files on the computer, it is fun and meaningful for children to get in touch with real instruments and actually play them so that they are more aware of the relationship between different materials and sounds. Harmonica is a good training tool among many musical instruments. When playing the harmonica, children need to exhale through their mouths, thus having the opportunity to experience the changes between sound and breathing. When children play the harmonica, they use their tongues and lips to create sounds that are coordinated with each other, which is an important foundation for the use of the mouth.

Singing children’s songs to learn to speak

In addition to imitating everyday conversations, singing a cute children’s song can have the desired effect of enhancing memory and deepening impressions by using music to carry language. If children can sing along, even if they can’t produce the right sounds at first, they can develop their speaking skills during the imitation process.

A building is built from the ground up, and training in early childhood is very important for children to have good language skills in the future. Through the use of music and musical instruments, children can build a good language foundation in a fun and relaxing way, so parents may want to try it out more often.

School Articles

Emotional Language for Parents and Children

Post author By system
Post date 29/02/2024

Emotional Language for Parents and Children

Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist

Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi

Growing up, we are seldom taught to express our emotions verbally. Schools and society focus on nurturing children’s cognitive, analytical, and problem-solving skills, so we are used to discussing things and opinions, and rarely express our emotions directly in words. Even when families communicate and talk to each other, we are not used to sharing our feelings.

Some parents may ask, “Isn’t it enough for me to express my care for my child through actions (such as hugging or kissing him/her)? Is it necessary for parents to verbally affirm and respond to their children’s feelings and needs?

While it is important for parents to express their love for their children through actions, it is also important for parents to respond empathetically to their children so that they can understand and accept their thoughts and feelings in a more concrete and tangible way. This not only strengthens the parent-child relationship and builds the child’s sense of security, but the child also learns how to verbally express his or her feelings and needs, which helps reduce the need for the child to express his or her inner turmoil through bad behavior.

In fact, the language of emotion is not the language we are used to. Many parents are concerned that affirming and empathizing with their children’s negative emotions may condone and exacerbate their children’s bad behavior. For example, when a child feels sad about the loss of a beloved object, parents are afraid that rehashing the incident will touch on the child’s sad feelings. Parents may say to their children, “It’s okay, just play with something else! or “Try to see if you can buy another one instead. Parents want to calm their children by solving their problems.

However, not only do children fail to learn from their parents’ responses how to access and understand their own feelings and effectively regulate their negative emotions, they also have no opportunity to learn from their failures and develop a sense of responsibility.

If parents can put themselves in their children’s shoes, understand their experiences from their children’s perspective, and try to tell them how they feel, even if it is as simple as “I think you must be very sad and upset about losing your beloved object. This is the most powerful support and comfort for children, giving them the confidence and courage to face the challenges of life.

School Articles

It is common for families to disagree on how to maintain a family.

Post author By system
Post date 29/02/2024

It is common for families to disagree on how to maintain a family.

Written by: Director, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

　　 Dr. Tik Chi-yuen

To maintain good and intimate family relationships, three elements are needed, including family planning, family communication and family empathy. Whether it is an individual, a group or a community, there is a need to have a plan. These plans should include directions, goals, actions and solutions to problems. Likewise, every family needs to have its own family plan. In simpler terms, planning for home ownership, savings, travel, and children requires clear planning and action. In the process of talking about these plans, it is important for all family members to share them, and for everyone to agree on them so that they can work together to create a happy family.

Once we have a plan, we should try to put it into practice and implement it. In the process of practice, good communication is needed. In a family, there will always be disagreements and disputes between members. If these disagreements and disputes are not resolved, they will turn into family disputes and conflicts, and the family plan will not achieve its goal.

The most effective way to resolve disputes and conflicts between members is through communication. When people and nations face conflicts, there are two ways to resolve them: one is to fight, to defeat the opponent, and to win; the other is to communicate, to negotiate, to understand, and to find a solution.

In my opinion, the second method of solving problems through communication is the most ideal. And what problems cannot be solved in the family? As long as we can communicate effectively, we will always find a solution that is acceptable to everyone, so a good family needs to be built by effective communication.

To achieve mutual understanding and accommodation, we need to be empathetic, that is, to understand each other’s difficulties and needs from the other person’s perspective, and for adolescent children, it is even more important for family members to be understanding because they are in a rebellious period and need to learn to be independent. Everyone faces different situations and difficulties, and there may be unique difficulties that come from not doing well in some areas.

If we can understand each other’s point of view more often, we will have different understandings and thus accept each other’s situation more easily, which will make us accept and understand each other more. Family members should think more from each other’s point of view. This will help to reduce conflicts, so that we can reach a consensus and solve the problem quickly.

School Articles

Self-protection mechanism of children

Post author By system
Post date 01/02/2024

Self-protection mechanism of children

Written by: Psychotherapist Lee Wai-Tong, Unleashing Mind
Professional Counselling Academy

One day, a colleague told me that he/she had received a call from a mother who was anxious to bring her son to see me. On the phone, I learned that the boy had pointed a knife at his neck several times in the past month, threatening his mother to give her change to buy snacks, or else he would stab himself in the neck. The mother, on one hand, of course, was surprised at her son’s behavior, and on the other hand, worried that he might stab himself accidentally, so she had to give him money. But the boy did the same thing many times afterwards, which made the mother feel distressed.

The first time I had a play therapy session with the boy, he entered the playroom, sat down on a chair and looked at me with a smile on his face, so I invited him to choose the toys in the room: “You can choose any toy and play with it in your own way. The boy looked at me and said, “Really? I responded again, “You can choose any toy and play with it the way you want. So the boy stood up, swept all the toys on the table to the floor, and looked at me with a smile.

At this point, I was thinking that this was the first time I met with the boy and he responded in such a way, so I could imagine that he had a lot of anger in his heart, but he had suppressed it for some time, so now he let it out in this way.

Later, I used games and creative psychotherapy to allow him to slowly express his inner feelings of dissatisfaction with his parents, for example, his father blamed the boy for breaking the computer for no reason, but in fact it was his brother who did it; when the boy did something wrong, his mother beat him with a coat hanger …… When his emotions were released, the boy did not do these behaviors anymore. And he also became cheerful.

Children need the protection and love of their parents as they grow up. But if a parent causes harm to a child and does not deal with it properly, what the child can do is to use his or her limited ability to protect himself or herself, such as becoming rebellious, silent, or telling lie. We all understand that parenting is not perfect and it is normal to misunderstand and blame our children sometimes. However, the important thing is that when we find out that we have misunderstood or blamed our children wrongly, we can open a space for parents to communicate and let our children express their unhappiness.

School Articles

Drawings peek into the inner world of children

Post author By system
Post date 01/02/2024

Drawings peek into the inner world of children

Written by: Unleashing Mind Professional Counselling Academy

Psychotherapist Lee Wai-Tong

Painting can give us room to express our feelings. I use a brush to create a dialogue with myself in another language, soothing my emotions or gaining insight and unlocking my heart.

Crying over trivial stuff
In my past child counseling sessions, some parents came to me for help. They did not understand why their son, Ming, often cried over trivial things, such as being late for TV, late for dinner, or when his father came home late, etc. They mentioned the situation to Ming, but they did not understand why, which caused them trouble. Therefore, I suggested conducting a drawing assessment for Ming to understand the environment in which Ming grows up in his mind, which may help to understand the reason why Ming loves to cry.

Drawing reveals the reason for crying
Ming drew a “family story”. While drawing, he expressed his feelings that his parents were busy with work all day, so he often played alone at home. When his parents came home, Ming wanted to play with them, but his father soon became impatient. In Ming’s mind, it seems that his father is always angry; whenever his mother sees this situation, she will argue with him. In Ming’s eyes, his mother always looks sad when she argues with his father. In Ming’s mind, he knew that his parents loved him, but when he saw that his father was angry and his mother was sad because of him, he felt sad.

A peek into the inner world through paintings
Later, I met with Ming’s parents again. They never imagined that the quarrel in front of Ming was deeply engraved in their son’s heart. In addition, the father also found that his tiredness after work affected the quality of parent-child interaction. In this regard, I taught the father some relaxation methods and suggested setting up a “calm zone” at home to give everyone a space to relieve their emotions, and the parents promised to avoid arguing in front of Ming.

A month later, Ming no longer cried over trivial matters and the parent-child relationship was better than before. Painting can reflect children’s inner world view. In the process of creation, children project their inner world intentionally or unintentionally, so that we can understand their inner world and help them grow up healthily.